


Eurydice

by Antartique



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Happy halloween, M/M, Major Character Undeath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-08-27 12:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8401258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antartique/pseuds/Antartique
Summary: She ran and ran, but got bitten by a snake and died; in his grief, the music created by him was the greatest, moving even Death itself for a chance for life.
 Three months before graduation, Sena Izumi gets a visitor from the underworld. It is not one he ever expected to see.





	1. I

_The last happy memories he has are of Izumi and Ritsu. Well, mostly Izumi, as Ritsu was napping on his lap like he always did, an act of trust he usually didn’t let others see. Izumi himself was leaning on his side, his fingers rubbing over Leo’s knuckles as he muttered the lyrics to their new song._

_Leo was content in those memories. Happy. As if the whole world aligned itself to give him that moment of happiness with his two best friends. That last moment of happiness._

 

_It ended then._

_His memories are scrambled. He remembers Izumi, trying to hold him back, yelling something he didn’t want to hear. Remembers Ritsu trying to placate the others. Remembers Rei in his high seat, not applauding at all._

_So he fled._

_He flees._

_And he continues fleeing._

 

_He remembers rushed packing, Ruka’s voice calling him, his mother telling him to not be reckless, but he is a famous composer in a world of music and he can do whatever he wants. He remembers taking the first train out of the city, and then the next, and the next, until he has no idea where he is._

_Days blur into weeks, weeks into months. The stars remain the same as the ones he showed Izumi and Ritsu their first year, with their illusions and aspirations, hopes and dreams_ crushed by their own feet _. The land, the air, the sky is all the same._

_But he is not. And he will never be again._

 

_He remembers a hand._

_A hand,_

_he remembers--_

_nothing more._

* * *

A whole year after Leo left, Izumi still waits.

He has been crowned. He is King of Knights, cape and sword and crown, with Ritsu at his side and an empty space at his left. Papers, official registries tell Izumi is the leader of their unit; other papers tell Tsukinaga Leo is not a student of Yumenosaki, a drop out, failing to show up to final exams and to sign up the current year. For all purposes, Tsukinaga Leo doesn’t exist.

 _Missing_ , is the truth. A rather cruel truth. Leo is missing and no one can find him, not his family, not the police, not anyone. Ruka cries herself to sleep every morning and night, Tsukinaga seniors pull at their hair wondering _where_ their son is. Both Ritsu and Arashi have given up, grooming the baby prince to take a role none of them wanted or ever will want. A role forced on Izumi’s name, with all the faults and shortcomings, but he...

Izumi has hope.

Every week, he drops by Leo’s house. Ruka will be there, and she will invite him in. _Would you like some tea_ , she will say; _please, thank you_ , he will reply, and then he will vanish upstairs into the room that is still Tsukinaga Leo’s. The door will be closed, but the knob will turn easily and there will be no dust at all.

Blank sheet music thrown around, stuck to the walls; glow in the dark stars in the ceiling in an accurate representation of Leo, with the light bulb being Regulus. A baby blanket carefully wrapped around a white plush lion with gold highlights. A frame on the desk, with a picture of Leo, Izumi and Ritsu at the end of their first year.

He will go in, sit by the bed. Curl the star-patterned comforter around himself and wait for Ruka to bring them tea. Then he will hug her, because she has no brother to do it now, and they will spend hours that way.

It has been so long.

They don’t want to admit the truth.

(They want to _hope._ )

* * *

It happens one day of January.

It is his last term in high school, and soon the school board and his manager will start asking him which career he will focus in. Three more months and he will be out to the fake act of freedom everyone thinks he will have.

Izumi sees Yuu-kun on the way to school, always a good omen, but he hasn’t had the energy to fuss over him for a few months now. It is his third year, after all, he can’t worry about Yuu-kun all that much anymore. He skips morning practice (he knows Nazuna will worry) to make some final adjustments for tomorrow’s Live, so he heads to Knights’ practice room and goes in to-

All he sees is _white_.

And a single spot of red.

 

Paper.

There is paper everywhere.

Sheet music, class notes, ripped up books; it is a disaster zone. Their always organised room is ripped to shreds, the windows wide open with the winter wind and dripping snow adding to the chaos. A track of leaves and mud goes around the room, like a caged animal; leaves, out of season flowers’ petals, shredded paper.

He wants to scream, but also, there is someone sitting in the middle of the storm.

Izumi always thought Leo looked beautiful, no matter how many times Leo said he was just average. Now, he looks unnatural, unreal, like he looks in his dreams with soft smiles and soft skin. His hair is loose, some wayward leaves tangled in it, longer than it should be; his eyes are even more green than it could be possible and so, so very bright-

Maybe it is because he hasn’t seen him in a year, but this Leo, this King with a crown of brown and yellow leaves, in his in tattered clothes and lack of self care, is more beautiful than he has ever been before. And he is just sitting there, in the middle of a paper storm that he probably made himself and he is right there, after more than a year, he is _right there_.

* * *

_The first memory he has upon waking up again is_

_rage_

**_rageragerage_** **rage** rager _age_

_and then_

_Izumi._

* * *

There is a blur of orange before his eyes and a cold sensation in his heart, a gasp he didn’t allow and he is on the floor. Something wrapped around his neck, his breathing gone, _cold_. He smells _autumn_ , mud and dying leaves and ancient trees, and the only thing he sees is _Leo_.

He finds himself flat on the floor with Leo ( _cold motionless cold_ cold) straddling him, suddenly dull eyes looking right into his ( _something deep down there in the layers of all hells--_ ) and Leo is _cold_ and _white_ ( _n_ _ot sick not alive_ not alive) and feels like the autumn breeze in the morning after a storm, right in his face, cutting and harsh-

“ _S_ _ena_ ,” comes a whisper too close to his lips, ice cold and quiet like a voice you don’t know if you really heard or it was a lie.

“ _Help_ ,” cold, desperate, a last plea to the last person, and that is certainly something else, because now Izumi realises he can’t touch Leo, not really.

His hand goes through his King to hover by his stomach, so he tries again. And again. Each time more frantic, different places, different intentions, yet each time he tries to embrace Leo he goes through him, and Leo (sobbing, shaking, making the paper hurricane start once again) can’t seem to have any control over it.

“ _Help me,_ ” it is a mere breath that roars next to his ears, a call for attention, for something, and Izumi wishes he could do something about it besides just be here and _useless_ , _useless_ even with Leo’s ghostly hands reaching _into_ him and grasping his _very self_. “ _Izumi._ ”

He takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around Leo, not really holding anything, but as a pretence of affection that should be. The shaking, the wracking sobs don’t stop, and if Izumi closes his eyes he can pretend he is not crying, as well.

His King is dead, and Izumi is the only one who knows

They eventually stop. They have to, because it is midways through second period and they have no more tears to shed.

* * *

 

Tsukinaga Leo has apparently acquired mastery over whatever supernatural magic allows him to make hurricanes out of paper and leaves, so he shoves everything aside to clear space for Knights’ practice later on. Practice Izumi is _not_ attending, because his best friend, his King, the first person to see him as _himself_ , is dead.

Izumi pretends he is dead, as well. Ritsu’s couch is comfortable, and it is good enough to have an emotional breakdown after having one on the floor. Curled up around himself, arms covering his face, he tries to bring his breathing back to normal, his heartrate down and his emotions back in check. He can _hear_ Leo moving around, shoving things to the side, closing windows _and_ stacking papers in the other corner at the same time, and he doesn’t want to see that.

The smell of autumn after a storm is _so strong_.

“ _S_ _e- Izumi,_ ” the ghost of Tsukinaga Leo says, his voice a pale reminder of how he used to be, coming from right next to his ear and also from deep underwater. “ _You shouldn’t skip classes._ ”

“That’s hilarious, coming from you,” he snaps back, because even back in first and second year, the three of them skipped classes a lot: Ritsu because he was just plain tired, Leo because he got lost in time, and Izumi because he got lost in Leo. And _shit_ , he never _told_ Leo how he felt about him, and now he will never know. Because he is _dead_. “I’m going home.”

“ _Can I go with you?_ ”

Izumi doesn’t answer, because he knows Leo will follow anyways. He leaves school through one of the many hidden exits that exist for some reason, dons one of his many terrible disguises and a parka from last year’s collection, and takes the scenic route to wherever his feet take him. Wherever it is, it is better than school, or worse, the Tsukinaga household.

The King appears to be any other strong breeze, shaking snow off plant life as he passes through, walking at the same speed any other being would. For a person with no feet, he moves quite smoothly, twirling around like he did in life, with exaggerated motions and his hair flying behind him. If Izumi didn’t know any better, he would think he is looking at a spirit of nature.

“Hey,” he calls, voice quiet, because he know Leo listens to everything even if he acts like he doesn’t. They are near the outskirts of town, following an old stone path, and when he realises where they are he shrugs and just keeps going.

“ _Hm? Something wrong?_ ” Leo flutters next to him, looking around curiously. The _torii_ probably gave it away already, but he can go through it, so they continue down the road and up the very few stairs.

“Why,” _didn’t you contact us,_ “is your hair so long now?” Izumi sits next to the fox statue, as eroded and covered in moss as it is it is somehow not covered in snow, and wraps his arms around his knees to seem smaller. He watches as Leo hops around the small, nearly abandoned shrine for a few moments before he settles down next to Izumi. He is a strong presence, but cold and insubstantial, and it makes Izumi think he both is and is not there.

“ _Oh, I couldn’t cut it in… Aha! Does it bother you?”_ Leo leans in close (cold, autumn, storms) and even when he is a ghost all Izumi wants to do is kiss him. “ _I can tie it back, I think, but I can’t cut it anymore._ ”

“Tie it. It’s annoying.” He leans down, presses his cheek against his knees to watch Leo do the interesting magic of tying his hair back with his leaves, and then he just… watches. Even in death, Tsukinaga Leo is still Tsukinaga Leo, unable to keep quiet for too long, getting way too much information at the same time to remember it all, being beautiful yet not perfect and a genius at what he does.

And this Tsukinaga Leo, who is also a ghost, is somehow holding his hand.

Izumi looks at their joined hands, feels Leo’s skin under his for a fraction of a second before it vanishes and slips away, his own hand falling back on the cold stone of the fox’s dais. He sighs. Leo, a mere spirit in the wide world, sighs as well, a quiet exhalation that goes unheard by everything except Sena Izumi.

“...Do you remember?”

“ _...I do._ ”

“Tell me anything?”

“ _...It is not… a pretty story._ ”

“I want to know.” _About you, about how can I give you the peace you deserve._

Leo stays silent for long minutes and Izumi fears he has decided not to tell. It is the longest ten minutes of his life, just looking at the ghost that would be Tsukinaga Leo look at the sky, then at the ground, then at _him_ with eyes that pierce into his very soul. He thinks Leo will not speak, but then…

Then, Leo stands up.

“I _reached Tokyo around August last year. I wanted to call you, but I lost my phone; I had so many songs for you, which I wrote through my travels, but well… Songs do not help the homeless._ ”

There, in the nearly forgotten shrine, next to the solitary fox statue, Tsukinaga Leo talked; there, in the cold snow of January, with his phone ringing and ignored in his pocket, Sena Izumi listened. A tale was told: a tale of kidnappings, deals with the unknown, a sea of corpses in a forest and a frozen lake. A tale of a musician, a composer and a dancer who became friends in the worst circumstances; a tale of three children lost in the world, then lost to the world, their corpses never to be found.

Sena Izumi listened.

That was all he could do.

* * *

 

They head home under a pretence of normalcy that feels less a lie than an act, like the one they put up in stage. Leo, twirling in the snow and talking about all the things in his mind; Izumi, following close behind just listening to his voice. It feels normal enough to walk with Tsukinaga Leo home that they end up at _Leo_ ’s house, Izumi not thinking much about it as he rings the doorbell.

Tsukinaga senior, the father, answers the door immediately. His gaze is sharp, but everything else is a sloppy mess of a man who hasn’t really cared much about life as of late. Light red hair, dark eyes, a towel in his hand that he quickly throws on Izumi’s head after pulling him indoors.

“Sena-kun, it is snowing, what are you doing out at this time, why aren’t you at class, is something wrong,” the man asks question after question in quick sequence, drying Izumi’s hair as thorough as he can with just a question. Then, because he _is_ Leo’s father, he just says: “No, don’t answer, I will figure it out. You should change clothes, I’ll lend you something dry, also call your home so they don’t worry.”

The cold breeze that is Leo has vanished upstairs, probably called by his belongings, but Izumi needs to confront reality. He needs to contact his parents, his manager, give an anonymous tip to the police about the kidnappers in Tokyo, cancel tomorrow’s Live, get out of these wet and cold clothes which is the first one he can do. So he does that.

Like a child of this residence which, considering he spent so much time here back when Leo was alive (just ignoring reality with his anchor, soulmate, best friend, whatever) and even now with Ruka, he sort of is, he makes his way to the bathroom and turns on the mini heater. Tsukinaga-papa shows up once more to fuss over his now almost dry hair and hand him a change of clothes before he disappears to make tea, so Izumi takes this time to collapse once more.

What is he supposed to tell _Leo’s parents_? No, what is he supposed to tell _Ruka_?

He has a minor breakdown at seeing all of Leo’s cosmetic care products (which Izumi himself had to pick for him, because he was an _idol_ and appearance was important, damn it) lined up under the sink, hidden from view unlike Ruka’s or their mother’s messy basket of cream tubes and tiny brushes. They are all there, from the concealer they usually used on Leo’s freckles to his favourite eyeliner and the ridiculous neon orange nail polish he wore once in a blue moon. Hidden from view.

Because Leo is no longer a member of this house. And he will never be again.

Izumi valiantly pretends he is not crying as he changes his clothes, folds his own a dozen times and arranges and rearranges Ruka’s skin care products by order of use. By the time he begins considering pairing up each of the earrings in a box with their matching twins, he decides he has had enough and goes to the kitchen.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tsukinaga-papa asks, taking his clothes and handing him a mug of some tea that Izumi is sure will make him sleepy. When he shakes his head no, the man just nods in acceptance and goes back to whatever he was doing before. “You can hide in Leo’s room if you want, I’ll tell Ruka you’re here when she gets home. You can join me for lunch if you want and I’ll consider you for dinner, but tell your parents you’re here.”

Izumi doesn’t know what he did to deserve the Tsukinaga family in his life.

* * *

Leo has somehow managed to open the window and turn on his computer by the time he goes into the room. Izumi doesn’t ask, doesn’t care enough to ask, instead just put down the mug on the desk, his bag on the floor and throws himself on the bed. He wants to just lay there, mourn in peace, but he knows he can’t do that.

He has three missed calls from Ritsu, four from Arashi, and eight from the baby king. There are a few blinking messages from other people as well, the tennis club, the Student Council for some reason, and then Oddball Sakuma. Whatever that means, he is not sure, but he ignores everything and the baby king and queen to speed dial Ritsu without really looking at the time. The call goes through right away, but there is some rushed apologies on the other end, some falling things and then a door slam before Ritsu talks to him.

_‘You woke me up? It’s class time.’_

So it is. Izumi looks at the clock, an alien with malleable arms and night light eyes, and realizes he could have waited fifteen minutes for classes to end. But, well, “I have so many missing calls from you people, it’s annoying.”

 _‘Maybe you shouldn’t have just left, then.’_ RItsu yawns and there’s the sound of shifting cloth, probably him settling down in case he falls asleep. _‘We have a Live tomorrow-’_

“We don’t.” He waits for the few seconds it takes Ritsu to process information and, as he is taking a breath to comment on Izumi’s decision, he continues: “Cancel it, or reschedule it at least one- two weeks from now. Tell them I will take full responsibility for it.”

_‘...Secchan, you’re already on thin ice. I can’t-’_

“Ritsu.” He has to motion Leo away from the phone, as he of course wants to listen to Ritsu. Instead, the ghost sits on the bed by his side, putting one book atop Izumi’s head. “You named me King so I would do the best for the best of Knights, and I will tell you tomorrow, but this _is_ the best for Knights.” He really doesn’t know how they still trust him in the position after everything he has done, though. “Just, do this for me, and I will never ask anything from you _ever again_.”

Ritsu goes quiet, making the world oddly silent, and Izumi realizes the ghost of Tsukinaga Leo is hovering on his back (it feels cold and detached and _odd_ ) and reading the book that is still on his, Izumi’s, head. It is a normal enough Leo thing to do that he has been instinctively not moving his head so the book will stay where it is, and that is familiar. Really familiar.

He wants to cry again.

 _‘Alright, I’ll reschedule the Live.’_ Ritsu finally speaks again after what feels like hours, making sound rush back into the world all of sudden. It is like a tidal wave: first Ritsu’s voice, then Leo’s soft humming and the rustling of leaves, a grieving man downstairs preparing a meal for four the first time in ages. The buzz of the computer fan and the almost silent Saint-Saëns coming from it. Izumi’s own almost non-existent breathing. _‘You have to tell me everything, I won’t accept any shitty excuse.’_

“Yes, mother.”

 _‘Be quiet and let me sleep.’_ And just like that, he hangs up.

Izumi sighs and puts the phone aside, rolling around when he feels the weight on his head vanish. He is left looking up at Leo, who seems to be really focused in trying to keep himself  _sitting_ on Izumi’s stomach. Is it hard work for a spirit to become physical? How would he know, he is no priest or exorcist, why did Leo even come to him?

Finally, Leo gives up, deciding to float instead and lay down on the air right above Izumi, arms crossed under his head and legs swinging around. He looks ridiculously casual, for a ghost, and is being _quiet_ , which is just… so weird. Dying is probably highly traumatic, but this one _right now_ barely feels like Leo at all.

“ _Ritsu has grown,_ ” he says, in that voice that seems to come from far away and from right besides Izumi at the same time, tender and proud like a father who has realised his son has stopped throwing sand at girls. “ _So have you. So has Knights, I believe._ ”

“We have.” Izumi whispers, because he is talking to a ghost and it feels like a really private moment. The computer is now playing a really quiet Dance of the Knights, but he doesn’t want to fight the Tsukinagas, and he doesn’t want to die either. He just wants to… be here, with Leo, in this room frozen in time. “We’ve got a new kid, really annoying… He’s all prim and proper when he knows we’re watching him, but otherwise… And also got Anzu helping us-”

“ _Anzu?_ ” While Leo doesn’t look particularly confused, his leaves (that are still floating around, amazingly enough) speed up slightly. He drops a hand to brush Izumi’s hair out of the way, and it feels a little like a condensed tornado around his eyes. “ _A girl?_ ”

“Ye… They want to open a new program, for,” he yawns, because the morning’s events and Leo’s intangible hand are making him really tired, “for producers? She helps out, at times… She’s gonna kill me… Annoying…”

“ _You won’t die. Not while I’m here,_ ” the King says, voice echoing around the room and in Izumi’s head. His forehead feels cold, because Leo has his own lightly pressed against him, and if he could reach up and touch the ghost he would kiss him. “ _I_ _will protect you, Izumi._ ”

Izumi wants to nod, but he feels so tired and cold, and then warm, and then just very, very sleepy.

He knows no more.


	2. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the family of your bound spirit is harder than it sounds.

He wakes up feeling sluggish, still tired and eyelids heavy. The comforter is thrown over him, and a small bowl and a mug rest on the desk. The window is closed and there is no smell of autumn leaves, so he wonders if it was all a dream. It certainly felt like one, with Leo, his King back, but gone still, and with a story in his head so dark it almost gave him nightmares.

He wonders if he fell asleep on his Ruka visiting day, and then the window bursts open, a small localised hurricane of snow coming in with brown and orange and yellow leaves, leaving a complete mess. Leo tries to shoo the winter away from him, yelling something like _‘begone, foul woman, out of the home We have not invited you into’_... No, actually, that’s exactly what he is saying, royal pronoun and all, adding a wild laugh in the end as the snow flurries out with a scandalised huff.

“ _Se- Izumi, ucchu!_ ” Leo’s ghost greets, making a weird double victory sign pose that is ridiculous and also adorable. He waves a hand to close the window, the leaves floating around him settling around his shoulders like a mantle, before he skips/floats up to Izumi to mimic-press an ice cold hand against his forehead. “ _Did you sleep well?_ ”

“A-Ah, yes.” Izumi nods, reaching for the hand and trying to hold it in his, but it is impossible. He is a ghost. He is dead. He is _gone_. He has become some sort of, autumn spirit-slash-unusually powerful ghost that is attached to Izumi for some reason, and that is just… too much to take in right now. “Can I go back to sleep, King?”

“ _Leo._ ” And Leo reaches with both hands to mimic-hold his faces, making him look up at him. “ _My name is Leo._ ”

The hands are cold. They aren’t really touching him, but Izumi can feel the cold radiating from them, from Leo: a neverending autumn breeze after a storm, the smell of fallen leaves and mud after the rain, and cold. Deadly cold, which makes sense, since Leo is _dead_. Not a dream, not fake; Leo is truly gone from this world.

He lets out a sob, curling up on himself atop the bed, and feels himself starting to cry once again. Leo is quiet, yet his presence itself is so loud next to him, simply floating there, and...

“...Are you a- a _yōkai_ ?” Izumi asks, in between sobs, just a little confused and tired, really really tired. The last time he checked ghosts didn’t turn into overly powerful spirits. Demon? Is Leo a demon? The idea makes the tears fall even faster, his sobs muffled by the pillow; _this is his fault._

“ _I’m not, Se- Izumi._ ” Leo laughs quietly, voice choked in what could be tears as well, his ghostly hands falling to rest besides Izumi’s head in a mimicry of comfort. “ _I can promise you, I am no_ yōkai _._ ”

And somehow, it makes sense. The idea of Tsukinaga Leo becoming a vengeance, hate-driven spirit sounds so far-fetched even in comparison to the current situation, Izumi feels ashamed he ever considered it. Yes, the story behind Leo’s death had been… terrible, and had it been anyone else they would have probably been unable to rest at ease until they got their revenge, but Leo… he had always been weird like that.

“Then, why did it take you so long?” _To come home?_ _To come back? To give even a sign that you were still around watching over us?_ Izumi looks up at Leo’s eyes, watches the ghost’s smile waver just a little and his mantle of leaves float left and right as if unable to rest. Even if not a _yōkai_ , Leo is still a surprisingly powerful spirit, not that Izumi expected anything else from him in this situation.

“ _I waited to see if-_ ” Leo’s eyes seem to be far away, in a world that is not this, probably seeing his own hell and Izumi wishes he could reach up and bring him closer. The almost silent music from the computer clicks back again, this time a sad minuet he recognises as one of Leo’s last compositions before he left. “ _-if the other children would linger. Let them know I would deal with this._ ”

He wants to ask if they did. Wants to ask about the children, about Leo’s final days, about his thoughts and how he felt when he found himself still in this world. Wants to ask so many things, wants to know so much about Leo, about the songs he wrote on his travels, about those he met, about the how and the why, why he decided to come _back_ , but…

But he doesn’t.

“How are you planning on doing that?” He asks, after a few minutes of almost complete silence. He can hear Ruka in her room next door, writing on the whiteboard she has on her wall. He can hear Tsukinaga senior downstairs and someone jogging outside the house in the cold. He can hear his heart beating on time with Leo’s drumming fingers next to his head, even if he can’t hear the fingers as they make no sound at all.

“ _I need to make a call,_ ” Leo says, as if he wasn’t making an impossible statement (he is _a ghost_ ). “ _I’ll borrow your phone after you tell your parents where you are._ ”

It is then that Izumi realizes he has around a dozen missed calls from each his parents and, cursing, sits up to call them to be scolded for at least half an hour.

* * *

Dinner with the Tsukinaga family used to be a common affair back when Leo was still around. Both Tsukinaga parents had been the busy sort back then, like Izumi’s own parents, so it often ended up being just Izumi, Leo and Ruka sitting before the TV commenting on gossip shows and some celebrities’ terrible wardrobes. At times they would be joined by Tsukinaga father, who would quietly enjoy their discussions about who worse the yellow dress worse, if the Korean lady or the Brazilian one, but that had been a rare event.

It hasn’t changed much, now that Leo is gone. They still eat dinner in front of the TV, but Ruka will change the channel every few minutes, claiming boredom. Tsukinaga father, who rarely leaves the house nowadays, eats dinner looking up things in his phone, but so far Izumi hasn’t been able to figure out if there is a theme for what he is looking for. Izumi isn’t a rare guest, but he rarely stays over lately: it is awkward, since his friendship is with Leo, who is missing.

Still, it is cold, it started snowing a short while ago, and both Izumi’s parents decided it would be better if he stayed until they could pick him up (and knowing them, he will end up staying the night). That, and Leo’s pleading eyes when he said he should be leaving, were enough to make him join the Tsukinaga family for the evening.

It doesn’t stop being awkward. Ruka tries to distract him with small talk, but she is also tired and sad about everything that is going on, and Tsukinaga senior keeps chewing at his finger whenever he reads something that troubles him. Izumi himself feels… anxious, waiting to see if Leo’s plan will work, or if it will backfire and he will be taken prisoner for misleading an investigation.

It takes a while before Leo makes his way downstairs, sitting next to Ruka and wrapping his arms around her. She shivers, looking around curiously for the source of the cold, and Izumi reaches to take her hand and squeeze it in complete silence.

The phone rings.

“Moment-,” Tsukinaga senior calls, somehow making it to the next room in a second. Ruka squeezes Izumi’s hand back, almost sobbing.

Leo raises to his feet, or not-feet as it is, and bows in gratitude at Izumi.

* * *

“Sorry for asking this of you, Sena-kun,” Leo’s father says about half an hour later, his shoes already on and his house keys held inside a trembling fist. Ruka, holding on to Izumi’s arm still, hands him his phone and wallet as quiet as she can be, and he looks at her with a smile. “Behave now, Ruka. I’ll be back soon.”

“That’s alright,” Izumi replies, resisting the urge to look at Leo’s ghost hovering by the door. “It’s the least I can do, considering all you have done for me, Tsukinaga-san.”

The man smiles, leaving wordlessly and closing the door behind him, and it is painful to see Leo bow to him as well, formal and stiff and holding back tears, an apology that he will never be able to voice.

Even Izumi, knowing what Leo’s plan had been, feels bad about it: this hopeless chase is necessary, but had there been any way, any other way he could have told them, he would have taken it. Instead, Leo has given his family hope, calling them with his own voice, leading them to his own long cold and gone body. They will all heartbroken when they find out the hint came from a supernatural being, not from a living one, and that the one they have been waiting for is _dead_.

Well, at least Izumi managed to convince Leo to not call his parents directly. They rerouted the call to the police station first, making them give the news to the Tsukinaga family; hopefully, that will ease the blow a little.

“Sena-san…?” Ruka’s hand, still shaking, comes to his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around her both giving and seeking comfort. This was not how he planned to spend any day of his life. “Will they be alright?”

“They will,” he says, because lying to Ruka is easier when he doesn’t have to look at her, her face and shining eyes so much like Leo surrounded by music. “It will be alright.”

“Right.” She smiles at him, shivering when Leo wraps himself around her, and then Izumi leads her to the TV room. “Should I-”

“I’ll do it, don’t worry.” He pats her head, and she nods and sits down to do her homework. Izumi piles up the dirty plates on the tray, asking himself how this ended up being his life, but washing dishes used to be _Leo_ ’s chore. Leo who sang new compositions while making music with plates and pans, a completely ridiculous show he did for Ruka while she did her homework. From the few times Izumi had the chance to watch his King being ridiculous at home, the chore routine was probably one of the ones he saw more often. “If you have any questions, I’m over there.”

“Thank you~”

Leo is already sitting, floating on the counter when Izumi gets there, a strangely silent spirit looking at his hands. It doesn’t take five seconds for him to start talking, though, voice right there in his ear and deep underwater at the same time, and Izumi is unnerved by how easily he got used to the ghostly presence of his King lingering behind him. Maybe it is that Leo was never any different from now, fluttering here and there like a bird and doing things as quietly as possible so his voice would be heard everywhere.

“ _I lead them to Aokigahara, so it might take a while,_ ” he starts, while Izumi does the washing. He doesn’t stop talking even with the loudness. “ _There are too many people lost there and, well, they probably already know by now that there is low chance of finding them, us, alive._ ”

He wants to ask. How many did he know, how many did he see fall, how much worse the real story was than the one he got told, but staying silent is the best option as Leo is doing so, playing with the water. He never did like people interrupting him, even when he always did it to others; Leo truly acted the King he claimed to be (or the King _they_ made him to be) when it fit him, but only with certain people.

“ _There is something else I need you to do for me,_ ” he says after a while, dropping orange leaves in his path as he paces the room. Izumi makes a small sound of curiosity, or it could be agreement since he can’t remember a time he ever denied Leo anything, and Leo laughs and twirls around with his mantle. The ghost wraps around him, insubstantial arms making Izumi freeze up, a cold illusion of lips against his ear. A cold, _cold_ hurricane around him, so unlike Leo yet the same Leo as always since three years ago, not anymore. “ _t will be great, a beautiful inspiration to you, just you see! I need paper, and a pen, and some markers- Ah, Ruka!_ ”

He is gone from the room so suddenly, taking his autumn storm and cold with him, that Izumi’s heart skips a beat, or maybe just stop altogether. He releases a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, feels his cheeks flush from a vague desire for more contact, more _Leo_ ; he wants to scream in frustration like he always did when Leo was so close to being _perfect_ and otherworldly even in life, and then ruined it by being _just Leo_.

There was never anything _just_ about Leo. Now it is more real, unreal, but Leo had always been so far from Izumi, so far from reality and the human world that the moments he came back to Earth, when he became adorably clingy and focused in the _now and here_ , were precious for Izumi in so many ways. The moments Leo was within reach, so few yet enough to make him feel he would never love anyone like this ever again. A contradiction; a realisation, a decision, a resolution ruined by that day months ago, and now-

Now Leo is completely out of reach.

He dries his hands and starts cleaning up the mess Tsukinaga senior left in the kitchen, listening to Leo tell things to Ruka past the door. Something about stars, and space, and aliens, and then Ruka’s pencil goes silent.

“Sena-san?” She peeks in through the door, and when Izumi turns to look at her she is wrapped in the heavy blanket from the couch, Leo hovering anxiously next to her. “It’s getting cold, so I’m going to bed, is that alright?”

Izumi wants to tell her it’s not alright. Leo is not smiling anymore.

“That’s fine. I’ll lock up, if that’s okay.”

“Thank you!” She beams and then walks  _right through_ Leo, pulling the blanket closer as she does. Her brother looks like he wants to follow her upstairs, but Izumi quickly goes to grab his arm (or well, where his arm should be) and stop him. It wouldn’t be good for him to freak out Ruka at this very moment.

Leo hovers around while Izumi checks the windows and doors, floating in and out of the house to check the outside. Asides from the sound of leaves dragging behind him, he is completely silent and Izumi would believe him to be fine if it wasn’t for the constant rubbing at his eyes and neck he did whenever he was close to tears.

“I’m sorry.”

He doesn’t know if ghosts need reassurance, if it is alright to apologize every time something doesn’t go quite alright. He doesn’t know anything anymore, just that Leo is dead and Ruka is alive and they will never meet again. That Leo won’t be able to sing Ruka to sleep anymore, that Ruka won’t ever sneak into his room when her dreams feel too real and she needs to be held, that the world is unfair and he hates it more than he did before.

Lonely. It is lonely, even if Leo is _here_ now, not how he should, but how he is now that he- It is lonely, and terrifying, and what he wanted, to make Leo happy, is not possible anymore.

Leo vanishes upstairs to his room. Like many times in the past, Izumi follows. In this quiet, lonely house of three, he is an outsider, but in Leo’s room he will always be welcome.

At least, that is a constant he can treasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what is my life anymore? My health and mood have been terrible for the past months, but I said I would finish this... one day... 
> 
> Izumi is confused and this whole chapter is confusing. Yes it is supposed to be this way.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Happy Halloween_!! This was meant to be posted as a one shot but then it got too long so I'm posting it up already... It's supposed to be three chapters but watch it be like. fifteen. Of suffering.


End file.
